Public Clarification Board
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Contest Holder - 9 years ago
We like yours, but we didnt love it, not sure there will be any way to improve. We didnt find it captivating and decided to go with a local writer.
- 9 years ago
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Contest Holder - 9 years ago
Looks great so far, I like how you introduced us at the beginning, unique angle.
- 9 years ago
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michelledmilne
- 9 years ago
Hi! I wrote a script that is based on the document you attached, but I took out some parts that I thought were repetitive, rephrased some portions, and fixed grammar spelling issues. My submission is about 3700 words, but I can make it longer or shorter if you prefer. I kept the tone light and humorous, but also persuasive. A major change that I made was introducing your team early on in the script because I think that viewers are more likely to absorb the information you are telling them when they know that can and should trust your expertise. I hope to hear back from you on any feedback that you have on my entry! Thanks so much—Michelle
- 9 years ago
