How do i find satirical writers for my website jobs

I require an insightful business plan for a class presentation focusing on international trade and logistics. This plan should majorly spotlight financial projections and feasibly attract potential investors. Although this is for a school presentation, a meticulously crafted plan will greatly contribute to my performance. I have attached a basic business proposal that I came up with on my own, as well as the guidelines for the business plan that should be 25+ pages in length. The Business Plan is the comprehensive project of the course and is comprised of the following deliverables: 1) an executive summary, 2) a formal presentation of the business plan, 3) a draft of your financial model (pro forma financial statements), 4) writ...

i need to find wordpress plugin and make integration to my website with below detail. reservation system 1. hourly base reservation as we always work at night, today as ours is starting from 5pm until 4am next morning 2. duration (how many hours) and number of people per reservation when request reservation 3. able to post only limited rooms to online (we will make availability with only 3 salas out of 7 salas on online) 4. back end, admin has no limit to post reservation even out of open hours 5. Admin (Backend) able to move reservation hour or reduced / extend duration 6. clients can't change reservation after confirmed or can't cancel 7. reservation status showing either by color or text (sala unassigned/arrived/left) 8. able to work wit...

I am in search of German writers for my health and wellness content. Your primary responsibilities will involve article writing and copywriting, with a focus on the nutrition subcategory. Key Responsibilities: - Writing articles that are engaging and informative, focusing on the health and wellness industry - Creating compelling copy for our health and wellness materials, specifically related to nutrition Ideal Candidate: - Native German speaker with exceptional writing skills in German - Previous experience in article writing and copywriting - A strong understanding of the health and wellness industry, with a particular focus on nutrition - Ability to create original, well-researched and high-quality content - Excellent communication skills and attenti...

I'm currently in the process of building a portfolio website on WIX. I've managed to create the base structure of the site but need an experienced WIX developer to help me bring it to completion. Attached you can find my pdf portfolio which I. usually use to apply for things. I would like. to have a website as well. Key Features: - Image Gallery: The site will feature an image gallery that needs to be visually engaging and user-friendly, with interactive slideshows. - About Me Section: The portfolio will have a section dedicated to information about me. This part should be simple yet impactful. Design Style: - I'm looking for a bold and modern design style for the website. The overall appearance should...

More details: Our projects starting price is $4000 to $10000 for website development clients (Realestate, Wellness, Clinic, Coaching) you need to find people who can afford and buy this service

The database is on the National Environmental Agency's website, and it includes all of the applications submitted for environmental permits. Here is a link to the database: Please go over all of the records, and filter ones that match all criteria: 1. EIA Screening Application/Statement or EIA Scoping Application/Statement and 2. The application is for an activity in the sea Start a new spreadsheet, and for every such record, meeting the above criteria, add a row to the spreadsheet including: date of the record, screening/scoping, title of the application (translated to English), a url linking to the application on the NEA website. In addition, download the screening/scoping report document, translate it to English with Google translate

I would like to design standard operating procedure (rules of lead engagement) based on large medium and enterprise segments- 1) how should sales consume the leads once a lead is assigned to the sales reps. 2) Define the stage movement timeline from one stage to another in salesforce based on which stage the lead is in. 3) How long to wait to send a follow up email /call after the two way connection has been established. 4) Reason to close or recycle the lead 5) Activities logged in salesforce. etc.

I am currently battling cancer and going through chemotherapy. I have recorded some videos and need a skilled video editor to help me with the post-production. The goal is to create engaging content that can be shared on platforms like TikTok and Instagram. Key Requirements: - Advanced editing skills: I'm looking for someone who can enhance my content by adding effects and transitions. - Understanding of young adult audience: The primary target for these videos are individuals aged 18-25, so a creative approach that resonates with this demographic is key. - Sensitivity to content: As these videos will document my personal journey with cancer, it's important that the editor is empathetic and able to handle the sensitive nature of the to...

I'm in need of a logo design. I want a stylish, sophisticated logo featuring a raven in an art deco style. The raven should be flying in a north-east direction. The design requirements are as follows: - The color scheme should predominantly be a mix of deep blue and black, with the option of using midnight blue as well. - The art deco style should be based on geometric shapes, symmetry, and abstract motifs. Please ensure that the design is sophisticated and not cartoonish or childish. - The font used in the logo should be simple and elegant. I have attached several examples of logos that I find visually appealing in this regard for reference. need to be in also in pdf, vector. Ideal Skills for this project: - Experience in designing art de...

We are looking for someone to manage our ads on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter for the goal of converting sales. We use Adroll for our restargeting that you will need to manage, along with retargeting through social media. We have a product to market, and also three features of our product that we want to specifically market and target with specific ads. We have a list of customers that can be used for like audiences. Finally, we have some events that we want to target with Geo fencing - about two events per month We have creative done for several ad sizes, but no video yet. We have a graphics person on staff to provide additional jpg ads as you request, and are willing to pay for video ads. We also will provide headline and description ide...

As the creator of a new system aimed at improving our security, I'm in need of a profe...identify any potential weaknesses in the system's security. This includes: - Conducting penetration tests to find vulnerabilities in the network, applications, and data security. - Specifically, identifying and correcting any firewall misconfigurations to ensure our system is well-protected. Ideal candidates should possess: - Proven experience in system security testing. - Strong understanding of network, application, and data security. - A track record of successfully identifying and addressing firewall misconfigurations. If you're a skilled professional with a background in hacking and system security, and you're passionate about improving security measures, please consid...

More details: What type of integration are you looking for? Product inventory syncing How frequently should the product inventory update occur? Every few hours Are there specific product categories that need to be prioritized in the syncing process? Horse feed

Hi, I need many rewrites. The first batch is of 200 articles. I will ask for a 100 -150 word sample rewrite on the topic given by me. (Removed by Freelancer) Interested candidates, please bid. Long-term work for the right candidate. We will hire multiple writers. Regards, B

I am offering source codes for 26 unique Android games ready for purchase. Having developed these games, I can guarantee their quality and potential. Potential buyers, such as a budding game developer or a gaming company, would find this extremely beneficial. Ideal Skills and Experience: * Familiarity with Android Game Development * Profit-oriented mindset * Interest in code acquisition * Game re-skinning capabilities would be a plus Since I missed out on detailing game categories and project timeline, I'm open to discuss these and more at the prospective buyer's convenience.

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...and functional e-commerce website for my business. I currently own the domain, so I need someone that can take my ideas and turn them into an engaging digital storefront. Key Features: - Shopping cart and checkout functionality for customers to make smooth and secure purchases. - Customer reviews section to allow for feedback and to build trust with prospective buyers. - Advanced product search and filter to help customers navigate and find exactly what they're looking for swiftly. - A dedicated offer page to frequently update customers about sales, deals or new product launches. Skills & Experience: - Proficient in creating minimalistic and clean designs. - Proven experience in developing e-commerce websit...

I'm looking to have a website built that will serve as a platform to showcase our car inventory. This website is crucial for our business as it will be the central point for potential customers to peruse and get to know the cars we have on offer. Key Features: - The primary function of this platform is to showcase our car inventory. Therefore, the main focus should be on the design that will effectively showcase the cars in the best possible light. - I would like the website to have a user-friendly search and filter option. This is important as it will allow our clients to easily find the car they are looking for. - It's important that the site is designed to be responsive across various devices to ensure potential custo...

Hi Writers Club, I noticed your profile and would like to offer you my project. We can discuss any details over chat.

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I'm seeking an illustrator for three sketched style illustrations, featuring a dog, a turtle, and a butterfly. The illustrations should be minimalist and have a consistent style. These will be framed in 10w x 15h cm frames, with 1cm of hidden padding, so please consider this when creating the designs. Key requirements include: - 3 sketched style illustrations (dog, turtle, butterfly) - Minimalist theme - Consistent style across all three illustrations In the attachment you can find an example of the style I would like. I don't have preferences on colors, it could be just pencil.

I am seeking a skilled freelancer to research and identify an app that can transform standard videos into high-quality black and white animated versions. The app should provide near-realistic animations, enhancing visual storytelling: People filmed should look animated but almost real. Please include video examples of apps with similar capabilities in your proposals. In order to understand what kind animation i want when the realtime video is being transformed into animated character i have posted a few pictures of drawings...so please refer to them otherwise you will be excluded to contest. Note i am not look for a Picture transforming app but a VIDEO transforming app !! Otherwise i will also exclud the contestent. Thank you

not urgent - take your time (daytime :-)) rendering will be done on my PC milestone 1: finishing modelling of existing .blend and basebody milestone 2: shading

...vanilla cPanel account, ill supply which runs on Linux Centos7 all changes made for the project will be committed back to github. Key responsibilities include: - Deploying the GitHub project on a vanilla cPanel account - Ensuring the project functions as intended - Implementing the minimalistic design requirements Ideal skills for this project include: - Proficient in PHP, HTML, and JavaScript - Experience working with GitHub projects - Familiar with cPanel deployment on Linux This project would be well-suited for a web developer with a strong background in full-stack development and deployment. If you feel confident in your ability to deliver on these requirements, I look forward to your bid. you can find the project here: please make sure you bi...

I am looking for a good SEO to help me naturally reference my site and make it appear first in the Google, Bing, Ecosia, Yahoo and other search networks.

I'm on the hunt for pre-built Web3 games. Further specifications of the game type were left open-ended, so any genre from collectibles, role-playing, to strategy games may be considered. Are you currently working on a Web3 Game? Did you already finish making a Web3 Game? Do you perhaps worked on a Web3 game before and own the rights? We are interested in 1. buying the code and rights 2. Or listing it on our platform This is a unique opportunity where you can sell your existing Web3 Gaming Project to us or list it on our platform. Write down the following: -Platform(s) of the game -Technologies you used to make the game -Concept and type of game (5-10 sentences) -Price estimate I'm NOT looking for someone to build a game from the start!!! You have to ha...

I'm in need of a skilled web developer to create a website for my new car dealership. The website will include a comprehensive set of features to ensure a smooth and user-friendly experience. Key Features: - Advanced Search Filters: Enable users to easily find their desired car based on various criteria such as make, model, year, price, etc. - Online Payment Integration: Implement a secure and reliable payment gateway for seamless transactions. - User Reviews and Ratings: Allow customers to leave feedback and rate their purchase experience, enhancing the credibility of the platform. Vehicle Listings: The website will exclusively list new cars. Therefore, it's essential to focus on showcasing these vehicles effectively. News Se...

...written materials. The needed content spans across: - Website Content: Crafting brand-focused, clear, and compelling web copy is key. Freelancers should be able to communicate our offerings in an accessible, engaging manner. - Blog Articles: Develop insightful, well-researched articles for our blog. Experience with SEO techniques is a plus. - Product Descriptions: Write concise and persuasive descriptions for our range of products, illuminating their features in a business-friendly tone. Ideal Skills: - Proven experience in professional writing, editing, and proofreading. - An understanding of SEO practices. - The ability to communicate complex ideas effectively. Given the diverse content creation required, the intended audience for this could r...

I require a skilled blog writer with knowledge and understanding of the job-seeking process. Your task is to produce SEO-friendly articles centered on career advice, job seeking strategies, and the global job market. The ideal person for this role should have: - Experience in writing on job-related topics. - Knowledge of SEO best practices. - Ability to capture the interest of job seekers. Your role will focus on: - Writing engaging, informative articles. - Utilizing SEO to increase website visibility. - Creating content specifically tailored to job seekers. The ultimate goal of these blog posts is to inform and guide job seekers. This project presents a valuable opportunity for writers with an interest in career guidance and the job-seeking industry...

...looking for a Python script that uses PyAutoGUI to control keyboard inputs, with a specific focus on interacting with a Firefox web page. I would do it myself as its simple python. However, it needs to branch into two different output. 1 clicking certain buttons and then a Then a final enter button to refresh the webpage and get a new list of buttons to select. 2. The second branch does the same thing except that it pushes different bottons so the tab order is different. Having two outcomes makes the python code to difficult for me so that i why I need help. I will also have to fine tune the number of tabs after you give me the code. So branch one will have different tabs frequency than the other branch. The UI should reflect tha...

I'm looking for a meticulous individual with expertise in web development and an interest in writing to superbly showcase my portfolio. * Core Skills: * Sensitivity towards both short and long-form written content. You should have a good eye for design, attention to detail and be able to meticulously highlight the unique features of my work. Your portfolio or samples of past work similarly done will be appreciated. Let me know your innovative ideas on how to effectively highlight these skills in my portfolio.

I'm looking for a creative and experienced screenwriter to help me with my draft a satirical TV show script. Key Requirements: - The script should focus on satirical comedy - The primary setting for the screenplay is modern day - The target audience for this project is 30-40 young parents Ideal Skills and Experience: - Prior experience in writing satirical comedy is a plus - Experience in writing for TV, online or audio content - Ability to tailor comedy for a specific target audience - Understanding of modern day culture and trends - Excellent creative writing skills Your deliverable would be a well-crafted, engaging and funny script that resonates with the target audience. If you have a knack for satire an...

I need a proficient researcher and writer to handle a job of writing my PhD Confirmation of Enrolment document. The document has already been written but need to make it up to 6000 words or more. The field of study of my PhD is Translation. The research investigates the translation of specific transcriptions translated from Arabic into English and will be doing a parallel corpus study to do that. Key task: - Finish writing my PhD Enrollment Confirmation document while maintaining the academic integrity and tone of the document. - adjusting the title of thesis Ideal skills: - Experience in academic writing and research is highly preferred. - Fluent in English and Arabic. - Knowledge in academic regulations and terms would be an advantage. Only experien...

I am seeking residents of Munich, Germany to conduct an in-store check for a well-known Dairy brand. Project in a Nutshell: 20 SKUS (Products) need to be assessed for the following: Tidiness of shelves, package quality, time to find product and etc. 3-4 samples per a product to be assessed. eg. Product is water: 4 of these will need to be assessed. Consumer will assess 31 samples per a product in total. No purchases required Products include water, plant based and diary. All data will be captured via an App thus good quality photos are needed. Answer questions related to the product via the APP. Full training provided. Requirements of the consumer: Tech Savvy. Promptly answers emails. Flexibility with time 4 weeks to complete Fee for project 1: ...

I need to find a good supplier that can get me all of the buyers and planers from all customers in Asia, Africa, Europe, North America, Central America, South America, Australia. i am in the aircraft industry.

Hello, I want someone good with compiler construction subjects Like creating a parser for a language You can find the project file from attachment you can find readme file in there explaining the project and task You would utlize the scanner that is in src/scanner, and build the parser in , which is the starting file you can also find it in the src folder The goal is to build the parser and pass all test cases Please read and check before bid

I need a skillful designer to help create a vibrant and eye-catching design layout for two stacked billboards, with dimensions 10.6x26 feet each. Key Requirements: - Integration of text and product images - The design should be vibrant and colorful to effectively catch attention - Versed in optimizing visual and textual elements for large formats Need help designing 2 billboards one on top of the other see photo. This is for a real estate team that covers the entire state of Louisiana but would also like a local feel to it if possible. The team name is Nicole Spellman Group website is brokerage name is Epique Realty will supply phone number etc needed for state compliance. (need to generate new number for it)... Please submit quickly...

I am seeking a proficient web designer to significantly uplift my developing Squarespace website. My site includes six pages: "Home", 'About Me,' 'Therapy,' 'Social and Behavior Change,' 'Educator,' and 'Contact Me.' I want this website to really show who I am and the services I can provide as a psychologist and consultant. Your tasks would involve: - Enhancing Design Elements: Updating the look and feel of my site to keep it as visually appealing as possible and personal to me. - Improving Navigation: Making the user interface more user-friendly, ensuring site visitors can easily find their way around. - Creating Templates: I also want to create a busi...

I am seeking support from a highly experienced cybersecurity(CIA) freelancer to assist in my research paper. Key objectives are: Optimal candidates should possess: - Strong writing and editing skills - A knack for structuring information effectively - The ability to create engaging and clear content however, no Chatgpt , no google Bard/Gemini, or any other AI tool. Cybersecurity CIA Analysis (2019-Present) Need in-depth analysis of CIA triad in recent research? 5 IEEE papers (2019-present) Comparative table with key insights ⚡ Fast, expert research & delivery Order now & unlock cybersecurity knowledge! Tags: cybersecurity, research, CIA, IEEE, analysis, comparison - Identifying potential vulnerabilities in multiple IoT in smart city systems - Analyzin...

I need a professional to list for rent my 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom condo in Long Beach, CA on Zillow. This includes: - Property Advertising: Increase property visibility to attract potential tenants. Create compelling listings complete with high-res photographs and detailed descriptions. - Tenant Screening: Review interested parties, check references, and conduct background checks to find reliable tenants. I'm seeking someone with experience in property management and familiarity with local rental laws. Knowledge of property advertising platforms is necessary, along with strong communication and decision-making skills.

I am looking to hire an experienced researcher who can find and compile a list of DIY YouTube influencers within United States with 20,000 to 100,000 followers. Looking to gather a list of upto 1000 influencers. List should include a mix of home diyers, garden diyers, craft diyers etc - i can provide a list of categories. Your task: - Identify and list popular DIY influencers on YouTube within the follower range. - Collect their contact details including their email addresses and social media handles. - If available, find any agencies they are associated with. Ideal Candidate: - Proficient in online research - Understands the YouTube platform and its influencers - Has a keen eye for popular trends within the DIY community. - Respect for privacy a...

I'm in need of a skilled and experienced WordPress developer to help me set up WooCommerce and Dokan with my paid theme, E-commerce Marketplace Pro. Below are the specific requirements and details for this project: - **Theme and Plugins Setup:** I will need help with the setup of the E-commerce Marketplace Pro theme, WooCommerce, and Dokan. - **Feature Implementation:** The main features I want to implement on my eCommerce marketplace include: - Product Search and Filtering: Customers should be able to easily find products on the platform through a search function and filters. - User Registration and Login: Users should be able to create accounts on the marketplace, log in, and manage their profiles. - Payment Gateway Integration:...

I am seeking a qualified web developer to create a captivating blog website for my project. The purpose of the website is to publish genre-specific short stories, aimed primarily at an adult audience. To meet this requirement, the potential freelancer should have: - Proficiency in creating an engaging, user-friendly website layout - Experience in incorporating features for story submission and publication - Understanding of how to target content to a specific audience - Experience in genre-specific themes and templates - Excellent SEO skills to drive appropriate traffic to the site Together, we can create a unique platform that successfully connects writers and adult readers through captivating genre-specific stories.

I'm on a journey to accomplish a PhD in Social Sciences and I need a seasoned expert to assist me with comprehensive research. Specifics: - Your expertise in Social Sciences is of essence and shall be fundamental in this project. - I require assistance in extracting relevant studies from top-tier UK or USA journals. Familiarity and access to vast academic journals are absolutely necessary. - I'm focused on qualitative research and expect appropriate methodologies to be applied in this study. -I require that the writer must not use AI generated text or sources. AI sometimes CREATES references that do not exist! Only true writers may apply please. Skills required: - Extensive experience in Social Sciences. - Should have privileged access to p...

I am in need of an experienced content writer who can produce various forms of content centered around the topic of bus manufacturing. Your work should cover blog articles, website content, and social media posts. The purpose of the content is to inform, promote, and educate readers about the fascinating world of bus manufacturing. I'd like the tone to be engaging and the information to be accurate, comprehensive and of course, original. Ideal Skills: - Excellent writing and editing skills - Prior experience in writing about manufacturing or a related field - Ability to thoroughly research and understand the topic of bus manufacturing - Creative mindset to make technical content engaging - Ability to adhere to deadlines and content guidelines This project is ideal ...

I am looking to hire an experienced researcher who can find and compile a list of DIY YouTube influencers within United States with 20,000 to 100,000 followers. Looking to gather a list of upto 1000 influencers. List should include a mix of home diyers, garden diyers, craft diyers etc - i can provide a list of categories. Your task: - Identify and list popular DIY influencers on YouTube within the follower range. - Collect their contact details including their email addresses and social media handles. - If available, find any agencies they are associated with. Ideal Candidate: - Proficient in online research - Understands the YouTube platform and its influencers - Has a keen eye for popular trends within the DIY community. - Respect for privacy...

I have a calculator form that needs some updates made. It allows the user to input measurements for an industrial hose to find out settings for crimping. Current form is here: Need to add an option for the user to calculate with Hose Wall Thickness OR Hose ID & OD. Here is a prototype showing how this will work: New page (needs some jQuery updates): Also have Excel with new formula

I’m seeking experienced content writers capable of producing in-depth blog articles and website content that exceed 1000 words. * Key Topics: Must be comfortable writing about topics related to Business and Finance as well as Technology and Innovation. * Ideal Skills: Solid grasp of the English language, ability to conduct thorough research, excellent SEO know-how, and exceptional critical thinking capacity. * Experience: Past experience in writing detailed articles about Business and Finance or Technology and Innovation is a must. The qualified freelancer should be able to deliver compelling and unique content, free from plagiarism and grammatical errors. Please include samples of your previous work in your bid.

I'm in need of a talented comedy writer who can assist with ideas on satirical fictional "callers" to tell shocking and absurd stories or scenarios that make people laugh but also to help make my point on doing the opposite of what the "caller" is saying. Possibly a tiktok or you tube format where I am giving advice and the idiotic caller is helping me make my point. Key Requirements: - Proficiency in writing parody comedy: An understanding of pop culture, trends, and the ability to twist and satirize them for comedic effect. - Experience with YouTube scripts: Understanding the pacing, tone, and structure that works best for online video content, particularly for a teenage audience. - Creativity and Originality: The...

We want to have all images on our website converted to webp. So please run a parser over all pages of Collect all png and jpg and jpeg images Convert them to webp Do NOT change their names, except for the extension

We are searching for a highly skilled and experienced developer to assist us in building robust API integrations using CloudQuery. Our project involves extracting and integrating data from various sources into our system for advanced data analysis and reporting. We're looking for a developer who can effectively use CloudQuery to build these integrations in a scalable and efficient manner. Key Responsibilities: Design and implement API integrations using CloudQuery. Be able to write DBT transformations. Extract and manipulate data from various data sources (SQL, NoSQL, APIs, etc.). Ensure the integrations are scalable, efficient, and maintain high performance. Collaborate with our team to understand requirements and provide technical solutions. Write clean, maint...