CMS system need to be made

I need an advanced CMS system made for a humor site I want to make. I want it to be an EXACT clone of [login to view URL] if you have to please study every feature that site has. Note how when it links out to a site its made in HTML and it has a rating feature in the top bar. I want to be able to control ALL the ADS and links on the whole site I want the news to be able to nice and visible and VERY user friendly. I want the ultimate site so I need the best programmer with quality. Please dont waste my time and I wont waste yours!