Sinking The Titanic
To keep his kidnapped daughter alive, Gerald had to follow a set of instructions. These led him to the depths of a cargo hold on the Titanic, kneeling before the funeral mask of Princess Amen-Ra by the bulkhead behind boiler 5. Her mummy was well-known and dangerous. There were no records of a funeral mask - how much more dangerous could that be? Reciting an incantation in words no living person should know, Gerald felt like an ancient High Priest and the mask released power which caused an explosion in boiler 5 and started the sinking of the Titanic. Gerald drowns but is saved by a mysterious person and dumped on a lifeboat where his daughter has also been put. Reunited the two are unaware of the part they have played in sinking the Titanic and we are all left wondering who the mysterious strangers are who co-ordinated the whole plan. (an opening for a sequel??? :) ).
Public Clarification Board
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Nexus9
- 1 year ago
Many thanks, Javier. I will start the editing with your suggestions.
- 1 year ago
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Contest Holder - 1 year ago
Congrats, you entry wins.
We'll use your story in our project.
We could discuss next and more changes later, but some initial points to you start thinking:
- there are more than 3000 words. We need to cut that.
- I think the details of how the daughter was kidnapped add nothing relevant to the story
- The start doesn't convince me. I mean, start with a short scene of the "present", the go to 2 months in the past.- 1 year ago
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Contest Holder - 1 year ago
Hello.
Thank you for your entry.
Interesting. I like it. Maybe requires some changes.- 1 year ago
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Nexus9
- 1 year ago
Hello Javier...Glad you liked it. Happy to make any changes you suggest ...
- 1 year ago
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Nexus9
- 1 year ago
Glad you like it, Javier. Happy to make any changes you suggest.
- 1 year ago
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Nexus9
- 1 year ago
Hello
- 1 year ago
