Thesis improvement

Improvements required: 1 poor academic practice regarding use of references, including secondary references in paraphrased work. 2 Write your own project definition in the declaration form. 3 Make sure objectives are consistent throughout the dissertation including the conclusions. 4 Improve structure of literature review to support your argument. 1 Bring references up to date, e.g. 2014 Tesco results. 2 Apply, rather than just describe academic theories. 3Make sure to bring in the business excellence principles and explain how they fit in. – Disscussion btw Business excellence and Principles of Tesco 5 Fix gaps in referencing, e.g. p52-3. 6 Improve your explanation of the methodology which was unclear. It seemed to have many sound elements, but it was unclear how these fitted together to reach the conclusions drawn. It was unclear how the three target supermarkets were selected. There was some description in the analysis section on p73, but the analysis approach used lacked any detail, e.g. how were indicators scored? How was the weighting decided? How were the four categories of ‘profit model’ etc decided? Based on the descriptions, it is unclear if the scores are a result of the abilities of the supermarkets, or a result of the amount they are talked about by academics and other writers. For example, it seems counterintuitive that Amazon Fresh has less of a brand than FreshDirect in the cities they operate in (p79) – whilst this may be correct, it is impossible to explore it as a finding. Consider using some simple statistical techniques. 7 Expand the discussion, linking it back to the results and analysis. You should not introduce new sources into the analysis – some of your current work needs moving to the literature review. Include a discussion of the theory. 8 Draw conclusions based on the research that answer the research question and align with its objectives. Avoid simply describing the work done. Consider how the conclusions could be applied to a business in the e-supermarket space. 9 Fix stylistic errors in the references list and typographical errors. 10 Add raw data to appendices